Tag: <span>Orgasm</span>

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The Male G Spot

  • September 26, 2019June 27, 2020

The Male G Spot

The Male G-Spot also known as the prostate can be the source of mind-blowing orgasms.

The prostate gland is about the size of a walnut and sits under the bladder, surrounding the top part of the urethra (the tube that takes urine out of the penis). It produces much of the seminal fluid that makes up ejaculate.

The prostate gland swells when you are aroused, and many men find that putting direct or indirect pressure on it during sex creates an intensely pleasurable sensation deep in their bodies and can lead to more powerful orgasms. 

For many men, the idea of someone touching their prostate sounds about as appealing as getting a root canal. But for other men — both straight and gay — exploring the prostate can bring new heights of sexual excitement and pleasure. It’s so pleasurable, in fact, that some sexual health experts have dubbed the prostate the “male G-spot.”

Men can even have prostate orgasms without stimulation to the penis.

“The orgasm from your prostate is a full body orgasm, and you feel a tingly sensation all over. This is opposed to the more isolated and direct pleasure from a regular orgasm through masturbation or penetration. In general, a prostate orgasm requires more time to warm up and more energy. But it’s totally worth it,” says Chris* (last name has been withheld for privacy reasons), a sex educator at The Pleasure Chest in Los Angeles.

So, how do I find the male G spot?

The prostate gland swells when it’s aroused which means that you’ll have more luck finding it, and more pleasure from it, if you are already turned on when you start looking. 

Start by putting some lube on your fingers and massaging the outside of the anus, then gradually slip one or two fingers inside. To find the male G spot the fingers should be pointing up (toward the belly button). Try curling them a little bit like you’re making the universal signal for “come here.” Like we said earlier, you might feel the prostate gland as a small bump. 

Many men say that the first thing they notice when someone pushes on their G spot is feeling like they have to pee. This makes sense because the prostate is so close to the bladder. Take it as a sign that you’re in the right place, and keep applying pressure, or start gently massaging.

Be prepared

If you’re trying prostate massage by yourself, make sure your hands are clean. If you’re trying it with a partner, check their digits for any hangnails. Perhaps most importantly, “always use lube, as the anus does not self lubricate. If putting something in your rectum hurts, slow down and add more lube,” says Chris.

Take baby steps

Before going in, start with a gentle external massage on your perineum which is located between the testicles and anus.

“Take some time on your own to get to know your body. Lay on your back with your butt under a pillow, tilting your hips up for easy access. Start with massaging your perineum with your hand or fingers. Apply lube to your finger and rub your anus externally to stimulate the nerve endings,” says Chris.

Explore internal stimulation

If the external massage feels good, curve your (at this point, lubed-up) finger into your rectum towards your belly button. “Two or so inches in, you should be able to feel your prostate,” says Chris.

It’s important to note that you really don’t have to go much further than that, particularly on your first try. “People think you need to shove a whole hand up there, but that’s not how it works,” says Milstein. “Insert one finger a few inches into your anus and push up toward the rear. Wiggle it around a bit, tap the inner walls, and apply different amounts of pressure to see what feels good to you.”

What does a prostate orgasm feel like?

1 / My first prostate orgasm was a few months ago ‘I had a massager, made for prostate massaging, and decided to go for it. When the orgasm hit, it f*cking hit. A wave smashing into my groin; wave after wave smashing over the rest of my body. My skin felt super-receptive. I felt every hair follicle on my scalp, and I felt a pressure building again. I had groaned loudly, and shot across the room. Multiple volleys of semen flew across the room, managing to hit the opposite wall. When it was over, I was still quivering. Gasping for air and trying to not to touch my body. I grazed my nipples and nearly had a seizure. I cleaned myself off after 10 minutes of trying to regain my composure. When I stood up, I couldn’t walk. My knees were quivering with exhaustion. It was intense beyond intense.’

2 / The male G spot orgasm feels a lot better than a normal orgasm
‘Still relatively similar in the way it feel, but just more intense. And longer lasting. I also find I generally come more as well.’

3 / For me, I find that I am simply overcome by the sheer power of the Orgasm.
‘It’s not a whole lot better, per se, but it is a lot stronger. After it happens, I’m stuck there out of breath and trembling for at least a few minutes – as if all of my energy had just been sucked out of my body and concentrated into a ridiculous orgasm. P-spot is the way to go. It doesn’t replace a regular orgasm, but it makes a really nice treat every once in a while.’

4 / They are amazing!
‘It feels like you’re brought to the brink of orgasm, but you stay there for a long time before the pleasure just takes over and you explode. I do think it can be difficult when you try to achieve a prostate orgasm by yourself. You end up focusing on the thrusts instead of being able to fixate on the immense pleasure. It’s much better with a partner when you are able to lie there and just enjoy the feeling, while they go to town on it.’

Your Tantric Massage Experience

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Tantric Massage, a Pathway to Experiencing Multiple Orgasms

  • March 11, 2019March 28, 2020

Tantric Massage can be a pathway to experiencing multiple orgasms.

London Tantric Massage Leading To Intimate Pleasure

The experience of an orgasm often bookmarks the end of a sensual experience. However, the experience of a much deeper, full release leading to a multiple orgasm is a sensation that can be experienced through London tantric massage and can benefit intimate pleasure by:

  • Enabling the intimacy to last longer as you both experience techniques to prolong sensations of arousal
  • Experiencing a deeper awakening of your sexual energy that can lead to a multiple orgasm
  • Learning to have ejaculation control and the ability to get in sync with your partner

Techniques For Successful Tantric Massages

Tantric massage techniques are very valuable in leading you to experience orgasm control with the potential of a deeper orgasm for men and for women through delaying the initial orgasm and prolonging the experience with tantric techniques.

Tantric massage incorporates full body massage, with simple rhythmic breathing, exploring the whole body and stimulating the intimate pleasure zones through massage in a way that prolongs the pleasure experienced. The idea is to be fully relaxed through massage allowing you to be submerged in to a blissed out state where the arousal experience can be fully appreciated as you receive the loving touch of your tantric partner.

A much deeper and fuller release can send waves of energy flowing throughout the whole body. I have seen many experience this full body orgasm as they experience a deeper, more “full” sensation of release. In my own sensual practice I have used tantric techniques to prolong my own orgasm, experiencing the different sensations that a tantric orgasm can create.

The tantric orgasm is not a rushed one; allowing time for your whole body to unwind, finding a relaxed space, enabling you to open up to a slow burn of arousal, coming up to the point of orgasm, stopping just before the point of no return and after a few minutes of rest beginning the arousal experience again. The repeating of this many times can lead to a deep, full release with the potential of a multiple orgasm.

There are some good resources that can begin your exploration of tantric massage techniques. These two books in particular are excellent resources that give a good foundation for the tantra ethos and practical guidance.

“Lingham massage, awakening male sexual energy” by Michaela Riedl and Jurgen Becker, & “Yoni Massage, awakening female sexual energy” by Michaela Riedl.

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The Male Orgasm

  • March 11, 2019March 28, 2020

Many men will try and learn everything they can about pleasing their partner to enjoy satisfying warm blooded sensuality and intimacy,  but what about you? Do you really have any clue about your own male orgasm?

It’s possible for men to experience an orgasm without an ejaculation. Believe it or not, the male orgasm and ejaculation are two different things, let me explain. 

Through tantric massage I have seen men experience orgasms without ejaculating, and this usually surprises them as they have never experienced this before. Usually the orgasm without ejaculating can be a very full orgasm, as with most authentic tantric orgasm experiences. Sometimes this is called a ‘dry orgasm’.

Dry orgasm:  when a male experiences orgasm without ejaculation. Orgasm and ejaculation are two separate processes that often occur simultaneously. However, a dry orgasm can also occur before puberty, and in males who experience retrograde ejaculation, from www.goodinbed.com.

Physiologically the male orgasm consists of the contraction and pulsating most guys feel in their penis, prostate and pelvic region. These sensations are met by a faster heart rate, quickened  breathing, muscle tensing, anal, sphincter and PC (pubococcygeus) muscle contractions, and an increase in blood pressure, which then result in a sudden release of tension.

Right before orgasm, seminal fluids build up at the base of the penis in the urethral bulb. This reaps the familiar feeling that you’re about to ejaculate. Then, whilst reaching orgasm, your testicles tighten up close to your body, and your urinary tract shuts down so that your ejaculate can exit from your penis rather than your bladder. All those muscle contractions signify that orgasm is taking place.

Ejaculation, however, is a spontaneous muscle spasm: A reflex that arises at the base of the spine and causes the ejection of semen this “spasm” that gives rise to a great sensation.

A dry orgasm can happen intentionally and not so intentionally. A well trained PC muscle (pubococcygeus) can lead to orgasm without ejaculation. The PC muscle goes from the pubic bone to the coccyx horizontally, creating a comfy hammock of a pelvic floor. It controls urine flow as well as involuntary contractions during orgasm (note: not ejaculation). By voluntarily contracting the PC muscles during Kegel exercises, both men and women can strengthen their perineal core. This helps with erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation and orgasming without ejaculating.

Whilst control through PC muscle exercises can give benefits such as stronger orgasms, it’s worth saying that focusing on a particular outcome e.g. a dry orgasm can detract from the enjoyment and spontaneity of sensual enjoyment and play.

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Full Body Orgasm

  • March 11, 2019March 28, 2020

A full body orgasm also known as an energy orgasm can be described as an orgasm which fills your whole body with the pulsating sensation of arousal and pleasure. It can sometimes make your whole body pulsate and can feel like a warm glow of energy.

Here’s another description:

‘My erection was harder than normal, and twitching rhythmically of its own accord. ‘The twitching became more intense until it merged into an amazing continuous tingling sensation. I thought I was going to ejaculate, but instead, the tingling spread from my genitals to my stomach and legs, then all over my body. ‘

I wondered what was going on, but it felt so good, I just relaxed and let it continue. ‘After a few minutes, my breathing became shallower and more rapid, then my whole body went rigid, and a wonderful warm feeling swept over me, radiating out from my genitals.

‘My whole body spasmed – in a really nice way – and I went rigid all over. ‘Then the sensation peaked. My eyes rolled back in my head, my groin pushed upwards, and I felt flushed all over. I was expecting to ejaculate but I didn’t, yet I’d just had the most amazing whole body orgasm. It was mind blowing!’

Quoted extract from a Metro article, available here. 

I have helped many clients achieve a full body orgasm also known as an energy orgasm.

Here are 5 elements which are part of the pathway to reaching a full body energy orgasm experience.

There are more tips which I can share with you during your tantric massage appointment with me.

1. Playing with high and low arousal many times before the final release 

For men and women the experience and pathway to a full body orgasm is different, this is because for men it can be easier to reach 80% of their climax and then calm things down in a cycle of high arousal and low arousal to reach their peak climax in a final crescendo. It’s vital to hold back a number of times before reaching the final peak, this is one of the key elements to reaching a full body orgasm.

For women once they are in the zone of high arousal to slow things down can feel frustrating when all you want is to go over the edge of arousal into orgasm. It can take more care and attention to practice a cycle of high arousal and low arousal to reach a full body orgasmic sensation.

The ebb and flow of arousal, reaching a high peak and then slowing things down in a way which feels good and pleasurable is part of reaching a full body orgasm.

2. Not being goal orientated, releasing any expectations

Focusing so hard on an outcome will not help you achieve a full body orgasm. You need to be open to whatever happens in the tantric session. Sometimes it takes people a few tantric massage experiences before their body and full being is ready or prepared to experience a full body orgasm.

Releasing any expectations you have, being open to the experience and being willing to try the breathing exercises your therapist will recommend are all fundamental to the full body orgasm experience in a tantra massage.

3. Breathing 

Yes, this is part of achieving a full body orgasm. Being open to practicing full and deep breaths throughout the tantric massage and especially during peaks of arousal and low arousal, playing with the arousal energy.

Breathing techniques are used within yoga and meditation, and the benefits of deep breathing have been recognised by the SAS and Navy Seals. 

Navy Seals use a 4 x 4 breathing method, breathing in for four counts and breathing out for four counts. 

4. Feeling relaxed 

The massage part of the tantra experience will help you and your whole body feel relaxed. A full body massage where your entire self is being tended to with caring touch and relaxing massage strokes for an hour or more will help bring you into deep relaxation.

5. Time 

All of the above elements take time, tantric full body massage, entering a relaxed state, free of expectations, practicing deep breathing, as well as playing with high and low arousal cycles.

If you are prepared to set aside quality time and let your tantric therapist guide you, then the experience of a full body orgasm can be yours. This is not something which can be rushed.

A full body energy orgasm is possible if you truly let go, surrender and let the tantric massage experience envelop you, wrap around you.

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Orgasmic Intelligence

  • March 11, 2019March 28, 2020

Orgasmic intelligence is to know when to interact with the tantalising power and crescendo of orgasm and when to embrace sensuality and intimacy as an expression of connection.

Orgasmic Intelligence (OI) is an individual’s response to their innate orgasmic state and potential.

Orgasmic intelligence is not always related to a sexual experience, but it’s always related to our sexual energy, which is our life force. How you experience and feel about your intimate sexual life impacts the whole of your life, they way you see yourself and others.

Alfred Kinsey the first scientist to study human sexuality in detail, once likened the orgasm to “the crescendo, climax and sudden stillness achieved by an orchestra of human emotions, …an explosion of tensions”

Ann Summers released the results of a sensual survey where they got to know the population’s orgasms and sensual behaviour a little better. What did the survey reveal…?

  • 65% of women prefer to achieve orgasm with a partner than on their own
  • 91% of men prefer to achieve orgasm with a partner than on their own
  • 72% of women feel that engaging in foreplay is an essential contributor to achieving orgasm through sex
  • 68% of couples would like to experiment more with sex toys or accessories
  • 43% of couples currently own a sex toy or accessory

Dr Brooke Magnanti writing in The Telegraph today reports that we have focussed too much on ‘the orgasm’ and this idea of ‘good sex’.

Her article encourages us to relax and not over focus on the orgasm itself, but revel in the whole art of love making, enjoying touch, visuals, slow dancing, the scent of your partner’s skin, talking, soft caress, the taste of their kiss and really the whole ensemble rather than one final crescendo moment.

Celebrate the orgasm yes, as fabulous as it is, those waves of pleasure, but look at the bigger picture and the whole sensual adventure of intimacy.

Understand that your intimate sensual experiences impact how you feel about yourself and the life that you live, your connection to others.

Your tantric massage experience

Read more of Dr Brooke Magnanti’s article in The Telegraph here. 

Breath Training

Focused Way to Strengthen Erections

  • March 11, 2019March 28, 2020

From my tantric library, “to promote good erections, we have to promote the flow of energy to the lingham (lingham is the sanskrit word for penis). Any man regardless of age can promote the supply of oxygen to his lingham.” – Lingham massage, awakening male sexual energy, by M.Riedl and J.Becker.

The following is a list of exercises that help with increasing oxygen supply to the lingham.

Breath training: focused, deep breaths in a relaxed rhythm, paying attention to your pelvic floor, testicles and lingham. Breathe into your lower abdomen and mindfully send towards your pelvic floor.

Sports: endurance sports (promotes stamina), tennis (promotes ability to react to stimuli), hula hoop exercises or salsa dancing (promotes circulation to hip area).

Pelvic floor exercises: increases circulation to the pelvic floor, see pelvic floor exercise video from Physio Fitness Tim Keeley.

Yoga: exercises such as the cobra promote circulation.

Starting one of these exercises can help promote circulation to the pelvic floor and lingham. Practicing these exercises regularly means the benefits will build.

This blog post contains extracts from Lingham massage, awakening male sexual energy, by M.Riedl and J.Becker.

If you are unsure about starting any new exercise, you should consult your doctor.

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Expand Your Sensual Experiences

  • August 14, 2019March 28, 2020

Expand your sensual experiences with this list of essential reading to expand your mind and intimate sensual experiences.

Let me be clear, I think Fifty Shades of Grey is an atrocious book which is badly written and doesn’t give an accurate depiction of BDSM. There is a world of better books out there from more reputable sources.

Here’s more from an article by Dr. I. Kerner…

But with the blockbuster success of “Fifty Shades of Grey,” many people are curious about dipping their toes (not to mention other body parts) into more sexually adventurous waters and sensual experiences.

I’m always careful to make clear that while the adventures of Ana and Christian may make for a compelling erotic yarn, their story is by no means an accurate depiction of BDSM relationships (bondage, discipline, dominance, submission, sadism, masochism), nor is “Fifty Shades” any sort of guide book.

For instruction on that topic, you’ll need to turn to the works of true sex-positive educators such as Clarisse Thorn or Tristan Taormino and their books “The S&M Feminist” and “The Ultimate Guide to Kink,” respectively.

But there’s no denying that “Fifty Shades” has sparked widespread interest in how to improve our sex lives — and what better way to do that than via a good “how-to” book?

If you’re uncomfortable talking about sex to your friends, doctor, therapist or even your partner, such books can be an important resource, whether they impart new information, help you work through an issue, inspire you to become more adventurous or simply turn you on.

So, in the spirit of sharing, I asked some of my favourite sex experts to pick their favourite books on sex and sensual experiences.

Debby Herbenick, a research scientist at Indiana University and the author of “Sex Made Easy:”

“Hands down, I recommend ‘The New Male Sexuality‘ by Bernie Zilbergeld. A classic in the field, it gives a rich picture of men’s sexual lives including myths they’re taught about sex and common problems such as erectile issues, communication blocks and rapid ejaculation as well as solutions for these problems.”

Joe Kort, a clinical sexologist and founder of the Center for Relationship and Sexual Health:

“I recommend Jack Morin’s ‘The Erotic Mind,’ which helps remove the shame of sexual behaviors and fantasies by understanding what they mean in a nonsexual way. Morin addresses where fantasies and desires come from and how shame can be removed and replaced with healthy acceptance for individuals and couples.”

Amy Levine, sex coach and founder of Ignite Your Pleasure:

” ‘Hot Sex: Over 200 Things You Can Try Tonight‘ by Jamye Waxman and Emily Morse is a fun, sensual, seductive, creative and tantalizing book filled with more than 200 ways to tease, play, entwine and explore. When I coach couples who are in a sex rut, I suggest they use this book as a tool.”

Laura Berman, sex educator, researcher and therapist:

“If I had to pick, I would choose either ‘The Anatomy of Love‘ by Helen Fisher or ‘The 5 Love Languages‘ by Gary Chapman. Both are extremely helpful for couples to understand how men and women are wired differently and to learn how to love one another in a way that lasts.”

Justin Lehmiller, Harvard University social psychologist and online sex columnist at The Psychology of Human Sexuality:

” ‘The Technology of Orgasm‘ by Rachel Maines chronicles the history of ‘hysteria,’ a bogus female medical condition that led to invention of the vibrator. Maines’ book is a meticulously researched, fascinating and humorous look at the origin of hysteria and the birth of the motorised sex toy.

“I also adore ‘Bonk: The Curious Coupling of Science and Sex‘ by Mary Roach, which traces the history of how scientists have studied sexual arousal and orgasm in a very engaging way that refuses to take itself too seriously and never gets bogged down in jargon or technicalities.

“On a personal level, ‘Bonk’ holds a special place in my heart for helping me realize how much fun a career in sex research could be.”

Megan Andelloux, certified sexuality educator and sexologist:

” ‘America’s War on Sex‘ by Marty Klein describes ridiculous sex laws and research that Americans are led to believe are true. It’s a must-read book for anyone interested in sociology, psychology, sexuality education, law and parenting.

“I’m also a fan of ‘My Secret Garden‘ by Nancy Friday, which discussed women’s fantasies well before erotica became truly popular.”

I’ve read and recommend many of these books myself, and this list is only the beginning of many exceptional works worth exploring and learning from.

In my opinion, no list would be complete without Esther Perel’s “Mating in Captivity,” an excellent guide to integrating a sense of sexual mystery into long-term relationships.

And on a personal note, in 10 years of writing sex books, my first, “She Comes First: The Thinking Man’s Guide to Pleasuring a Woman,” remains my most popular.

At the time, I often mused that many men — through no fault of their own — knew more about what was under the hood of a car than under a woman’s clothes or what was behind her orgasm.

In writing “She Comes First,” I am grateful to the Federation of Feminist Women’s Health Centers and their book, “A New View of a Woman’s Body” (unfortunately now out of print) and to Rebecca Chalker’s excellent book, “The Clitoral Truth.” Any man or woman truly interested in deepening their knowledge of a woman’s full sexual potential should give this book a read.

Expand your knowledge on sensual experiences and get reading.

Your Tantric Massage Experience

This blog post is adapted from an article authored by Dr. I. Kerner and can be found here https://www.goodinbed.com/blogs/sex_doctors/2012/08/great-books-about-sex/